Riding The Metal Monster
by SpinSpinSugar
Summary: Reformed delinquent (mostly) Luna Loud finds herself lacking a car on her sixteenth birthday. What she's gifted instead proves dangerous and unhealthy, but she can't get enough of it.
1. Chapter 1

For the two-and-a-bit weeks following her sixteenth birthday – which may or may not have involved a wicked party the 'rents didn't know anything about – Luna had been in something of a slump. Nothing major, not like the time she'd had a total identity crisis when it looked like her chosen future in music wasn't going to go anywhere except living out of a van and scavenging washing machines off of the highway, but a slump nonetheless.

She sat near the back of Vanzilla, headphones in and listening to early-80s deathrock, channelling her inner Lucy as she worked her way through what felt like being left out. Leni was driving and had been doing surprisingly well since she'd gotten her license. Mr Grouse had only had to shout at the Louds to put his mailbox back together twice since Lori had gone off to college in the city, taking with her a gift from the Loud parents – a cute little hatchback, ideal for nipping about in the heavy traffic of the city.

For Luna, the free-spirited rocker, private transportation represented some final threshold of freedom. It was up there with getting your own place.  
And she'd missed out, because sending Lori off to college and buying her a car had used up any money the younger siblings would have been able to use on large birthday gifts of their own.

Luna felt weird thinking this way, getting at herself for being selfish, but really the most any of her siblings had missed out on was a new VR headset to get in everyone's way playing with Clyde, or some pageant dress that looked identical to the closetful the queen owned already.  
On the other hand, Luna was missing out on being free as a bird, now.

With one last exhale, she switched her playlist to something more upbeat, beginning to play air guitar to the opening chords of Iscariot Saint's title track off of their latest album. For a bunch of guys that had been around since the early 70s, somehow they still managed to make the greatest metal album of the year.  
By the time Leni had pulled up on the drive of the Loud house, Luna was belting out the lyrics, fingers strumming the air with abandon – at least, until Lincoln gently lifted her headphones off and informed her they'd arrived. Her firepower fizzled out, although it had still mortified those more sensitive to her singing. The family piled out of the tired old van, continuing arguments and stand-up routines into the house, except for Luna – she'd spotted her father waving her over to the garage, and strolled over to him, hands in her pockets.

"Lunes! What's rockin'?" The old man may as well have asked 'what's up, fellow kids?' but she chuckled, knowing he meant well  
"Ah, nothin' Pop-star" She rasped, harsher than usual. She should have had something to drink before she sang. "Why, anythin' up with you?"

A broad smile grew across his face, and he gestured towards the garage "I'm sorry we couldn't get you anything for your birthday, Lunes, but _this_ should make up for it"

With trepidation the girl stepped towards the garage door. Was this it? Was she finally going to be able to head on the highway, looking for adventure?  
In one of those suspicious acts of coincidence that seemed all too common around the Loud house, the rest of her siblings had overheard there was some kind of gift giving going on outside, and all gathered around hurriedly, climbing all over each other to get the first peak at whatever was in the garage.

Luna squeezed her eyes shut, before throwing the door up into the air. Nobody said anything until she'd opened her eyes again.

And her face fell.

There was a tense moment as Luna inspected what was sitting in amongst all the clutter of the garage. A rather garish little thing; largely white with a big red stripe accented by a smaller blue one. Across the gas tank SUZONUKI was emblazoned in bold, black letters, and again below the blue stripe. The thing was at an angle facing away from her, with REAL SPRINTER written across the sides of the rear mudguards, and SLINGSHOT in smaller letting below that. Whatever any of that meant. It was probably just there to give off more of an illusion of speed. As she circled it, she noticed it also said RGV250 on both sides, giving away its small capacity engine. Finally, she squatted in front of it, handlebars turned towards the side it rested on its stand, and stared into it's single, trapezoid headlight. The only sound that could be heard was the clicking of the engine as the metal shrank while it cooled after being ridden from the home of its previous owner.

It wasn't speaking to her like her guitar had.

The motorcycle showed obvious signs of age and use – the once-clear plastic covering the headlight was yellowing, and both sides were scratched. One of the levers by the handlebars, Luna assumed it was the brake, had been snapped in half, and there was a crack running from the top left to the centre of the windshield.

Lynn Sr. cleared his throat, the other siblings not sure what to make of Luna's darkened expression and silence "She needs a little love, but she runs a treat – why don't you give her a try?" He hoped to win his daughter over through the experience, as, clearly, she wasn't immediately an avid enthusiast.

Revealing the second part of the late birthday gift he handed her a full-face helmet, a carefully chosen shade of purple to match her clothing and general style. The key was inside.  
Lana stepped forward when she saw Luna faltering, expressing her willingness to teach her sister how to ride, and Sr. pushed it out towards the street as Lana gave Luna a crash course in motorcycle operation, on-par with Mars Bar's explanation of drifting in The Motoring and The Mad, a movie Lincoln adored but the sisters cared little for. All she had to do, apparently, was make sure her stand was up, pull the clutch in, knock the little lever by her left foot down to put it in gear then ever-so-gently let the clutch lever out while feeding in the throttle. Confident she could at least do that, Luna threw her leg over the bike, and began to feel her heart fluttering now that she was onboard. Despite herself her mouth formed a grin to match the one her father had had, and she looked over at her siblings as she pushed the starter button. After an almost worryingly long time, the two-stroke engine burst into life, and suddenly Luna felt very excited indeed.

Between her legs, what sounded like a swarm of angry wasps trapped inside a metal trash can began raging, vibrating and throbbing. She couldn't hold back an excited little giggle and pulled the throttle a few times like she saw in the movies. The bike roared, high-pitched and obnoxious, twin exhausts blowing out blue smoke, leading to the siblings shuffling back a little. Lisa coughed and hacked, having gotten a lungful. She revved louder when she saw Mr Grouse leaning out of his upstairs window, and felt her hair standing on end.

She had to _go._

Looking down at the handlebars through her visor she remembered Lana's lesson, kicked the side stand up and pulled the unfortunately shortened lever in, disconnecting the engine from the drivetrain. Glancing over at the junior mechanic she received a nod and knocked the lever by the left foot peg down. There was a clunk as the bike shifted into first gear, jolting beneath her, but it didn't move. Yet.

Exhaling, she began relaxing the two fingers she'd used to pull the clutch lever and simultaneously began rolling her right hand backwards, feeling the bike vibrate more, getting noisier as the revs climbed.

Then the front wheel was reaching for the sky like a spooked horse, the engine was roaring way into the redline and Luna was unceremoniously dumped off the back, hitting the street hard as her gift hurled itself into Mr Grouse's mailbox, demolishing the duct-taped and zip-tied structure of wood and metal, before dumping itself on its side on the flowers he'd recently been planting on his lawn, stalling and leaking gasoline onto the dirt.

Once she'd recovered, pulling her helmet off angrily and tossing it into her father's hands, she scowled that she wouldn't have fallen off of a car. Then, embarrassed by her outburst but still angry, she took off running towards her room with Luan in pursuit.

Lana did her best to recover the bike, but was too short to pick it up, even if she had been strong enough. In the end it took everyone bar those that weren't present to wheel the muddied machine back to the garage, but only Lynn Sr. to appease Grouse with a few trays of Lynn-sagne.

 ****Much later that evening, after much of the family had gone to bed, Luna laid across the floor of the room she shared with Luan and stared at the ceiling, strumming softly on her acoustic guitar. Dinner had been a little awkward as it had been made obvious that the rocker was none-too-pleased with her gift, and there was a lot of talk around the table reserved for the younger Louds, led mostly by Lana, about how cool motorcycles actually were, and how Luna was a _total moron_ for just dumping it and running off when she'd barely even tried. This talk floated into the dining area for the older siblings, which was mostly silent. Luna stared into her soup to avoid looking at her parents, although Leni and Luan were able to brighten the mood a little.

Luna sat up, placed her guitar up on her bed, and crept out to the garage assumedly unnoticed, just to give her bike a second look. She wasn't sneaking like she would when she had something to hide, but she also wasn't stomping around like during the day, simply crossing the yard and entering the garage through the side door.

The fluorescent lights flickered on lazily, bathing the interior of the garage with yellow light. Off to the left, leaning against some overfilled cardboard boxes of junk and out of the spotlight was Luna's gift, the beaten and bruised Suzunoki. She sighed to herself, wondering if Lana's enthusiasm for the mechanical really had gotten to her so quickly, boosted by the goosebumps she'd gotten when sitting on it. Although her helmet was hanging off of the handlebars, key stashed inside it, she felt it would be better not to start it up right now to chase that feeling again. Instead, as she'd done earlier, she crouched in front of the bike and stared at the bike's headlight again like she was looking into a person's eyes. The plastic over the bulb had been removed, Luna noted, although there was still a fair bit of Mr Grouse's grass sticking out of some of the bolts attaching the front forks to the wheel and the vents cut in the fairing hiding the engine.

She reached out, patting the front of the bike between the headlight and windshield, and suddenly felt as though she was talking to the motorcycle in the same way she could her guitar. Not in a conversational way, but on a deeper level of understanding between the girl and the inanimate object.

She simply squatted there, staring at the bike – her bike – for several minutes, not even noticing the garage's side door opening then closing again.

"Oh, Luna, s'just you" a voice chuckled, although Luna only looked over lazily, barely registering she was being spoken to.  
"Lana?"  
"Heh, yeup. Here" She held out the plastic cover for the headlight "I cleaned it up a little for ya"

The older brunette took it, turning it over in her hands "Cheers, mate" She grinned, putting on her British accent for a few moments and ruffling Lana's hair, despite her hat still being in the way, before turning back to the bike and giving it a look with her sister.

"Hey," Luna began, rubbing her arm "I'm sorry I just dumped it and ran off, I know you like this stuff and that must have been…"  
"No, don't worry about it" Lana grinned "Now we get to pretty it up together!"

There was a long pause, the girls able to smell the scent of spilt gasoline that had tinged the garage, before Luna finally responded.

"Together?" She blinked  
Lana nodded "It's fine for maintenance on a car to be left to someone else, especially when it's shared like ours, but a motorcycle is a very personal experience" The younger girl's eagerness and attempt to be some sage-like character brought a smile to Luna's helpless face, and she nodded her agreement

"Sure thing dude, after school we can- "

The garage door opened again, Rita exclaiming something about having finally found Lana, the girl up past her bedtime. Luna found herself following the pair in, her mom advising her to come back inside for now, and she flicked the garage's lights off on the way out, giving her Suzunoki one last look before the fixtures got the message the switch was sending.


	2. Chapter 2

The first step towards making her bike presentable and learning to ride it without cracking her skull open on the sidewalk every time she tried to leave the house was putting Mr Grouse's mailbox back together whilst Lana pulled grass out of the various nooks and crannies it had managed to get stick in. For a lawn maintained with such a degree of perfectionism like Grouse's, kept to the perfect length with nail scissors the Louds sometimes joked with each other, the amount that Luna's Suzunoki had managed to pick up during its uninvited visit was ridiculous.

Almost as ridiculous as the hair-trigger that seemed to be the balancing of the actual mailbox portion of the mailbox on top of the wooden stake that held it off the ground. Breathe on it and it'd fall over again, scattering various utility bills and magazine subscriptions down the sidewalk. Still, as agreed, the mailbox had been placed back how it was and Luna wiped her hands of the task, trampling across Grouse's lawn and over to Lana under the basketball hoop attached to the side of the house.

Lana wiped her brow when she saw her older sister standing over her, leaving a grass stain across her forehead. "Lawn's mowed"  
The pair chuckled, and Luna sat next to her sister on the concrete, bike still scratched and sporting bent turning signals and a cracked windshield. She'd just opened her mouth to ask what the next step of their master plan was when Lana started talking about how having the bike in this state would probably be best for her first few attempts while she was learning, rather than buying a replacement turn signal and just snapping it as soon as she got going.  
Nodding at that, the girls walked the bike over to the street again, checking it for traffic. This was never a necessary action, it seemed, since their neighbourhood was impossibly quiet at all times. Still, they had to be careful – Luna didn't have a license yet, as far as Lynn Sr. could figure out from the DMV's website. He thought. It wasn't really made clear whether or not the RGV250 was a small-capacity bike, let alone if her driving license covered it – or was there a separate test altogether?

"Now remember," The blonde tapped Luna's forearm as she finished fastening the buckle of her helmet, adjusting her grip on the handlebars and steeling herself for her second try "Just take it easy."

Luna nodded, determined she wasn't going to throw it down the street this time. She was at least going to make it a few houses down, or her name wasn't Luna Loud.  
The bike's engine started again, rattling and spewing its stinking blueish smoke, attracting an audience of their siblings to the living room window. Luna noticed a video camera, Luan's, ready to capture her failure on tape. Grinning to herself she gave the gas tank an affectionate tap, telling both herself and the Suzunoki she wasn't going to be anything worth filming.

"Easy does it!" Lana called over the idling engine "Not too much gas!"

Giving her a nod, Luna checked over her shoulder one last time for the once-in-a-blue-moon stray car that would end her fun for her, clunked the bike down into first gear and slowly, oh so slowly, relaxed the middle and first fingers of her left hand. Barely rolling the throttle grip a degree, she felt the bike beginning to creep forwards, her boots dragging some on the asphalt of the road. Let the clutch out a little more, give it the tiniest dab more throttle, and, although she was wobbling like a kid who badly needed stabilizers and had her feet kicking at the ground to keep herself up on two wheels, she made it past Mr Grouse's place unscathed.

Ecstatic at her progress so far, she released the gas entirely and pulled the brake lever in, bringing the bike to a halt. The front suspension compressed heavily from how hard she pulled, even though she'd barely been moving, and the engine stalled.

Looking down to her right she found that Lana had been walking alongside her and was giving double thumbs up. Luna already knew what she wanted to do next, bouncing in the saddle and barely able to contain her excitement.

"Tell me how to change gear, dude! I wanna get down the end of the street!"

The rest of the Loud family cautiously approaching, Lana explained, tapping on the rev counter attached to the bike's handlebars. The number 15 and above was highlighted in red, and Lana explained that when the little orange needle reached the red numbers she'd have to release the gas, pull the clutch in, kick up the little lever by her foot a notch and let the clutch out again, feeding the gas back in again.

"Try to get quick enough that the bike balances itself, but not too fast – and be gentler on the brake this time" Lana patted her arm reassuringly again as Luna hurriedly found neutral again to restart her new favourite toy. The angry wasps returned, giving Lisa yet another lungful of smoke as Luna, slow and wobbling, pulled away from the sidewalk and began riding off down the street.

The young genius coughed, making a mental note to shove someone in front of her next time they got near the vehicle.

Back on board, Luna had every cliché biker song from the movies blasting at full volume in her brain. She'd been able to let the clutch out all the way in first gear and was still on her merry way at the dizzying speeds of 8 miles per hour. With a gulp she decided to try shifting as Lana had described to her, able to tell the revs were way above 15,000 even without looking down purely by the way the engine was screaming. She could picture Lana's face crinkling up, undoubtedly imagining all the damage being done to the precious internals of mankind's second greatest invention (ranking just below the toilet) and concentrated on getting this right.

Her right hand rolled forwards, and there was an almost sickening shift in the bike's weight distribution. Suddenly she was supporting her entire body with her forearms and losing what little speed she had managed to gain so far rapidly. Next came the clutch, and her arms breathed a sigh of relief as the front forks were able to share the bike's weight with the rear end again. Now she wasn't losing any speed, she was just freewheeling along, and took a moment to glance over to the sidewalk, finding her family walking along beside her, egging her on. Except Lynn, who'd raced ahead to prove herself superior to even a motorcycle. Luna's sporty sister seemed an excellent target to pass.

Toes tucked under the gear lever in her purple boots, Luna felt the satisfying click through her foot as she notched the gearbox into second. The little LED display next to the rev counter Lana had pointed out earlier shifted from a red 1 through a green N to a red 2, and Luna let the clutch lever out again.  
Bracing to be thrown off the back again, Luna made sure she was beyond gentle with her application of the throttle. In this higher gear the power delivery was far smoother, although she still felt a tugging at her wrists, and less gas gave her more speed. It suddenly clicked, since it hadn't earlier for whatever reason, that this was similar to riding a mountain bike, and Luna felt a burst of confidence.

Waking up anyone that might have been taking an afternoon nap with a handful of throttle, Luna felt the front go momentarily light and she surged forwards with her bike, gaining on Lynn. Repeating her slow, methodical technique Luna threw Lana's advice to the wind and focused totally on overtaking her sister, two-stroke engine climbing in note, happy to accelerate for its owner as they passed the younger brunette, although as she began to sprint Luna noticed the end of the street rapidly approaching. Having already discarded Lana's advice, she simply released the throttle, letting it return itself to being closed by loosening her grip for a moment, before using all four fingers to pull the brake lever in towards the handlebars.

The front wheel locked, and the bike went over to the right, Luna just about able to avoid having her leg trapped under it, although she did scratch both palms badly in stopping herself from smacking into the road full-force – helmet or not, it'd be painful. There was the sickening sound of the bike's fairings scraping there way along the street before the bike, too, came to a stop. The right rear-view mirror was shattered.

Luna hopped to her feet, although she was quick to recoil and inspect the damage to her hands when grabbing her bike to try and pick it up again hurt even more than falling off of it had. Her whole family was on the scene in seconds though, offering support – some teasing – and walking bike and rider back home, where there'd be ice waiting. Rita sat her daughter and husband down in the kitchen, Luna kneading a packet of frozen peas as she was half-scolded and half-fawned over. It seemed most of the blame for this particular accident was being pinned on Lynn Sr. though, for letting her ride without at least gloves and some sort of padding arrangement. Money changed hands, father to daughter, and the rocker was told to head to the mall tomorrow, after school, to buy herself some proper gear if she really wanted to play Evil Knievel.

That was easier said than done. Thanks to her behaviour around the neighbourhood, often dragging Lincoln along, before Lori had left for college, Luna was banned from most of the shops in the mall and was guaranteed to have at least one security guard tailing her at all times. That wasn't too much of a bother – she didn't shoplift anymore – although she felt bad for getting Lincoln into the same boat purely by association. The staff hadn't removed him from their lists no matter how much she and her eldest sister had tried to apologise. MotorArea, luckily, was one of the few stores Luna wasn't banned from. Mostly because she'd had no reason to go in there before.

A badly overweight mall cop blocked her longing view across the food court to the record store that she wasn't allowed to enter for another three consecutive lifetimes as she passed between a winter tires display, now on sale since it was early summer, and a set of chrome bull bars that alone would have been enough to crush her and her bike.  
She made a mental note to avoid pickup trucks once she made it out onto the open road.

Fishing in the pocket of her skirt, Luna found the list she'd brought with her – as well as the gloves, elbow and kneepads her mother had insisted on, Lana had added a few suggestions to the bottom, in crayon. Universal motorcycle turn signals, and a few parts it seemed at first would be way too specific to find at a chain auto parts store in a suburban mall, like rear-view mirrors and foot pegs specific to her Suzunoki's model year. Luna looked up from her list, and suddenly felt stupid for not trying to lose mall security in here before.

She hummed the chain's jingle – _In That General Area, MotorArea –_ to herself as she took in the colossal scale of the place. It seemed as though the entirety of the mall could fit easily into the area occupied by rows upon rows of every conceivable road-going part and accessory even Lana could think of in the same way the planets could on… Was it Jupiter? Luna, despite her name, usually zoned out whenever she was learning about the solar system. Instead she found herself wondering if there was life on Maaaarrrs!

After what seemed like an eternity tracking down the contents of her shopping list, Luna finally relaxed when she made it to the checkout without getting lost in the supermarket and had the fruits of her efforts handed back to her in a pitifully small bag that certainly didn't reflect the effort she'd put into finding what she'd bought.

The sun was already setting on Royal Woods' mall when Luna exited MotorArea, running straight into none other than her closest friend and crush, Sam Sharp.

"Oh, hey bro" She rasped at the blonde, smiling casually. She had to good fortune not to be obsessed with forcing a relationship like a certain friend of Lincoln's.

"Hey!" Sam smiled back, and the two girls bumped fists, noticing the name on the plastic bag Luna was carrying. "You on an errand?"

It took Luna a moment to register, although a glance down at where Sam was looking jogged her memory "Oh! Uh, kinda? I'm working on getting my bike roadworthy" She shrugged. It wasn't supposed to sound like she was bragging, but Luna couldn't help but worry for a moment she'd come off that way. Luckily, Sam was too interested in this bike to tone police, the driver of a graffiti-coated van beaming excitably.  
"What've you got?"  
"Gloves, blinkers…"  
"I mean, what kind of bike?"  
"Just messin'" Luna chuckled, Sam shaking her head and smirking, "I'm told it's a Suzunoki RGV250"

It was Sam's turn to look blank, and Luna shrugged.

"They can't just name bikes like cars dude, you gotta have those random collections of numbers and letters to sound cool"  
"You gonna ride it to school tomorrow?"  
"If I get it working" Luna grinned, wondering if she could look slick enough to get Sam on the back. Then she remembered there wasn't enough room on the saddle for a passenger, and her grin faded a little. The girls fist bumped again, Sam heading back toward the record store, snack break over, and they said their goodbyes.

Luna trotted home, mentally going over what Lana had been teaching her about braking and turning as she walked home. She might have even mimed riding once she was sure nobody was around to see her, just to get the extra practice in so that she could show off a little in the morning.


End file.
